She cheated first and lied about it several times before finally coming clean. It was one incident but every time I confronted her about it more and more details came out. I tried to leave her but I couldn't. I was so infatuated with this girl that I thought Id rather stay with her than be without her. Bad decision. When she had finally came clean I knew I wouldn't stay with her forever. It had turned out that she had lied to me about other questionable things and even when she initially admitted it to me she left things out. Even when she broke down crying and swearing that was it, there was always more. At that point I felt like id never know if she was telling the truth. That trust was never coming back. Despite this, I still had very strong feelings for her so I stayed.

I was a complete shithead. Incredibly jealous, especially early on. She had offered to let me look at her phone whenever I want and I did. Every time a guy texted her id probe her on who it was. I pressured her into doing a lot of sexual stuff to 'make it up to me'. Several months later and I had barely gotten any better. When she left for home for winter break I was convinced shed cheat on me so in my mind I had to do it too. I wouldn't let her make me look like an idiot, thats what I kept telling myself.

A girl I had previously hooked up with had already reached out to me. It was casual at first. She was in a relationship but she was unhappy and the last time we had gotten together she had cheated on him (I did not know at the time, she said they were on a break). It got more and more flirty until it was basically settled that we'd fuck. It happened over break and it was pretty awful. After being with the same girl so long I wasn't attracted to this other girl at all. We fucked a couple more times that night. Im convinced I only did it to say that I did and "win" in my mind. It wasn't enjoyable in the slightest. She tried to set it up again but I turned her down and eventually stopped talking to her. I texted my girlfriend right after the other girl left and poured my heart out to her, telling her that I loved her more than anything and forgave her for it all. Being with someone else was probably the best thing for me just because It allowed me to forgive her while realizing how strongly I felt for her. It was still wrong, but I became a better partner to my girlfriend after that.