I was actually caught a little over a month ago.

All through high school I had been questioning my sexuality. I finally accepted I was bi, and eventually came out to my girlfriend, who I started dating freshman year.

Cue senior year. I came out to a few more friends and life went on completely unchanged. Still, deep down I was uncertain, and even desired to hook up with another guy. It was almost like a forbidden fruit. Not that that justifies what I did.

Long story short, I did, a couple times. Each time I got disgusted with myself in the middle and stopped. I don't know what made me keep doing it. Eventually I decided that I needed to stop, and I did. I felt so guilty inside, but decided not to tell my girlfriend since I still loved her deeply, and knew it would crush her.

A couple months later, one of my closest friends who I told decided to tell his boyfriend. From there it spread, until it reaches my girlfriend's best friend. Rightfully, she told her.

For a couple days I wasn't sure what would happen. Obviously, my girlfriend was crushed. She decided she couldn't leave me, so I tried to break up with her. She deserved someone better than me. She begged and begged, and I was too selfish to let her go.

We're still together, trying to let the wound heal. We both got tested, and I more than learned my lesson. What I did was selfish and unbelievably shitty. Not a day goes by where I don't think about what I did. I'm extremely lucky to still have her, and I'm determined to gain her trust back, though I know it'll never be what it was.

Cheating is one of the worst things one can do in a relationship. I'm glad I was caught, I just wish I had never put her through that.