[Serious] Christians turned atheists, what made you lose your faith?

TLDR: abuse and rape were punishment for my sinning, I’m a bisexual girl born out of wedlock

I went to a catholic elementary/middle school and was abused as a child and so I asked my teachers, who were mostly nuns, and my priest why god would let me be abused. I was told it was all part of God’s plan and I might be sinning/was born in sin and was not praying enough. I prayed more, went to reconciliation and told the priest every little thing that might be a sin but I continued to be abused. My faith wavered a bit but it broke entirely after I was raped at 14. I was going to a new church at the time as I had moved states, the new church was much more conservative and “old fashioned” than my previous church. My new priest told me I had committed my greatest sin yet, I was dating a girl, so I was being punished. But my “punishment” made me no longer a virgin before marriage, therefore I had doubled my sinning all because I dated a girl.

I was getting older and questioning why I would like girls if it were god who made me, why would god want me punished for what he did, and isn’t god supposed to love all of his creations? I’m not totally an atheist now, more agnostic. I can’t and don’t know for sure if there is or isn’t something out there controlling everything.

/r/AskReddit Thread