I... don't have a good reason.

We've been together almost five years. He cheated once, came crying to me about it and I felt nothing.

I couldn't say "I forgive you" because I honestly felt like there was nothing to forgive. We were and still are mad about each other, we have a deep connection, great sex, the fact that he fucked someone else never made me feel territorial or insecure. Worst case scenario was that he left me for someone else who made him happier than me, and if that scenario ever happened he would be happy and being in love with him, his happiness is my happiness and it's as simple as that.

I told him to fuck whoever he wants if he feels like it. It's important that two people in a relationship can be together and be their own person at the same time. Sometimes this includes sex. And this is okay with me.

So a year or so ago, I went on a rampage. I don't know why. I felt hypersexual, I had my eyes on five or six different people and I fucked them all several times within a summer. It boosted my ego to have all the men I had my eyes on and the sex, however fulfilling, very obviously missed the intimancy.

Anyway, although in theory he shared my opinion on the matter, the news crushed him. He didn't get mad, just sad I suppose. We're still together and things are great and now that I know how he feels about it I'll never fuck someone else again.

But deep down I am a little sad that he values loveless sex so much.