I got very sick for most of my twenties and am unable to make a living even now on the downside of my 30's. I've lived in a basement for the last decade. My body has been effected in ways that isolate me and make conventional work impossible, but my mind has also been affected which makes mental work much more difficult. The more I see mentioned about the fast pace of the modern working life and the need to compete, the more I feel like I can never catch up and will only fall further behind.

I feel deeply ashamed and inadequate about all of this and am reminded constantly of the cultural disdain that people have for people in my position. People make assumptions about what I can and can't do and then don't believe me regarding the nature of my health. Even if there are very good and rational reasons why a person might be stuck in life, people generally don't care and will assume laziness or worse.

I've started two businesses, and have made money with both, but never enough to make a difference and life keeps hitting me with situations which prevent me from gaining any traction.

I have anxiety issues from all of this and virtually all of the friends I had have moved on in life. I haven't made a friend in well over a decade. I wanted a family, but that seems extraordinarily unlikely now. I don't have a whole lot of hope for the future and half expect that the remainder of my life will just be dealing with the cumulative effects of stress and poor health until I eventually die.