3. [Serious] Fellow ladies who have been abused, what is your story and how did you...

[Serious] Fellow ladies who have been abused, what is your story and how did you get over it?

Guy was full of red flags. Wanted to date me, I just wanted a fwb. So we went our separate ways for a semester.

Spring semester, I gave him another shot. We were dating but I refused to make it official. As far as I was concerned, we were friends.

Was going to move into my own bedroom in his house, but his roommates mother lost her job and he had to move out of state to help her before the lease renewal. Two weeks before the lease renewal. So I agreed to find a place with just him, so neither of us would be homeless.

I go away for the equivalent of a summer internship. By the time I come back, I agree to date him. August 2011.

I find out he's cheating on me February of 2012 with a 16/ 17 year old (he was 23) and we break up.

but by then he had alienated me from all of my friends, coerced me into quitting my job and taking out extra student loans so I wouldn't have to work and could spend more time with him. so I was in a pretty fucked situation, had no one to live with because living with him was somehow better in my mind than living with strangers.

from then on out my life was constant harassment of how I was a terrible person and a whore for even dreaming to speak to other men while living in the same apartment as him, I was called a tease for basically existing, he tried to beat me to death in a parking lot once because I wouldn't have a threesome with him and he slit his wrists in front of me while screaming that I didn't "give a fuck" about him and well, I guess he was right. He ended up in the ICU and psych ward due to self harm twice before I moved out and blamed it all on me. In reality he's either bipolar, has bpd, ptsd, or some combination thereof. We talked so many times about him getting therapy or being put on medication but he never followed through. the second time he came home from the ICU I told him he needed to get the fuck out of my life. I didn't need to move, he did. He said to give him a week to find a place - hint: he didn't even look. I couldn't kick him out because he was on the lease.

anyway, I found someone I really liked, a mutual friend of ours, and I missed dating and I knew I had to leave. Some friends helped me get my things and I temporarily moved in with my new boyfriend before moving into my own apartment. I was working again at that point and had finally realized if I wanted out, I was going to have to live with strangers so I sucked it up and did it.

the previous paragraph makes it seem like I did it for my current SO; truth is, I had been looking for apartments for months and had finally found the perfect one, was planning on contacting the subletters about moving in but I was also still looking at my options. and then my boyfriend and I started dating. and then my ex found out about it and threw a complete shit fit which expedited my process of moving because my bf and some of our mutual friends deemed it unsafe for me to stay there anymore. this was November 2013.

a long story for another time, but I also have a restraining order against my ex because he continued to harass me after I moved out, and smashed the windshield of my car one night when he got drunk (car was in bfs driveway that particular night.)

dude is 50 shades of unstable. glad he's out of my life. whatever.

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