When you say it's selfish, the assumption is that it is a rational act where a) someone gets what they want and that b) they are aware of but dismiss the harm they're causing to other parties involved, neither of which are true, in my opinion.

I will tell you as someone who lost a brother to suicide when someone calls it "selfish" it is very offensive, because my brother was the farthest thing from a selfish person, and he would have never wanted to hurt anyone, especially not his family. I know he wouldn't have done it if he fully grasped the intensity of the effects it would have on the people he loved, or if he had a rational sense of how his life could have improved over time. When you say it was selfish, you're suggesting he rationally weighed the effects and decided to place his "desire" to die above a rational and accurate estimation of the pain he would cause. You're suggesting that his final act in life was mean-spirited, and that's absolutely not the case, and not at all in line with his character.

He was suffering badly, he was tormented not only by other people but by his own thoughts. He had lost all hope for the future, all hope for real-world solutions to his problems. He didn't really get what he wanted, though. He wanted to be happy, he wanted to be liked, he wanted to have friends and a girlfriend and all the other things most people take for granted. He had learning disabilities, social problems and he was mentally ill... he didn't see any possibility of achieving what he wanted in life so he ended it short. He didn't want to die, he wanted to stop suffering. He didn't get what he wanted, he got relief from a terrible reality and a terrible and hopeless projection of what the future held for him. Depression severely skews your perception into irrational negativity. When he died he didn't feel loved at all, so he didn't feel he was hurting anyone but himself. How again was that a selfish decision?