Throwaway cause yea

I feel awful. I'm a 20 year old man working part time at a job I strongly dislike. The only reason I continue to work there is because the pay is nice. I am currently going to community college to go through their RN program. I am sort of excited as I finish up myAA of Science this fall but as things progress I get bad anxiety that I won't be able to perform or help everyone properly.

I'm also incredibly lonely. I've never had a real girlfriend and the only time I've kissed a girl was because she was dared. I typically keep to myself as I'm very aware at how easy it is to end up on some joke Instagram page or on r/niceguys. In fact, that's probably my biggest fear. As I continue to see friends enter more serious relationships, I become more depressed and lonely. I don't want a girlfriend because I want a warm place to put my dick, I want one because I just want to be loved and love someone back....

^{that really hurt to say but im high as shit}