[Serious] How messed up is your life?

Where to start.... I am a 29 yr old housewife with 3 children. One is 9, one is 3 and autistic, and the other is 1. I am completely worn out.. The one year old gets into EVERYTHING and wants to be held ALL the time.. and I'm sure you can imagine what it might be like to have an autistic toddler.. I have gained SOOOO much weight from having the two kids back to back... I have been trying SO hard to lose weight but it feels like it will never come off. I HATE being so heavy. Every time I look at myself, I feel disgusted. My husband helps out a little around the house since I told him flat out that he needs to help.. that I just can't do EVERYTHING by myself.. I mean I get up at 5:30 in the morning JUST to make him his breakfast before work.. I take care of the kids all day and the house is clean when he comes home and dinner is made. I don't think he really appreciates it though. He would rather chase after other women. He would rather look at porn and text other women (especially women he works with) and have internet girlfriends than have sex with me. This dumbass has a wife who actually WANTS to fuck and still he would rather just go to bed or something. I am so frustrated... I can't even have a girlfriend or have 3somes or whatever with him because I can't trust him. He even tells me about how much he REALLY likes some of the women he works with, and tells me he thinks my friend is attractive. It all makes me feel so worthless. On top of that, I am late. He just came home from some training where he was gone for 5 months.. and we've been careful... but fuck.. I'm already over a week late. I am just hoping and praying that maybe my cycles are a little crazy since just starting back up after I weaned the baby 2 months ago. I SERIOUSLY do NOT think that I could handle being pregnant AGAIN. Not physically, not mentally, and definitely not emotionally. I am already SO worn out.. I love my children SO much.. but I feel like I am just waiting and waiting until they are all in school so maybe I can get a job or something.. and have some friends ( I only have one. I left all my friends and family in another state when I moved with my husband so he could be closer to his work and family.) and basically have a life. I have like nothing in my life except for my kids and my husband who isn't even really there. When he comes home from work all he wants to do is eat and go to sleep.

I know that compared to a lot of people my situation isn't that bad.. but honestly, if it weren't for the kids, I would definitely have killed myself already.

/r/AskReddit Thread