[SERIOUS] How old are you and what is the most difficult thing you have experienced in your life?

This is kind of late, and i'm sure this will be buried but I need to vent. I'm 17. Mine is a bit more mild than alot of the others here, but the most difficult thing I've experienced so far, is dealing with my recurring habitual pathological lying. My parents were 16 and 17 when I was born. My Dad was affiliated with gangs and my mom had a pretty bad drug addiction, so It's pretty safe to say that my home life wasn't too great. I had to hide things, and lie about various things at school because I didn't want my parents to get in trouble, and that grew into a severe lying complex that I've had nearly all of my teenage life. I would lie about almost everything, almost all the time as a way of masking my own insecurities. Whether it was the exciting places I've been to, extravagant things i possessed, or amazing things i was able to do; All were an attempt to deceive people into believing I was something better than I actually was. And It worked for a while. I had very false sense of confidence from being able to paint my own future and past. I was happy. I had lots of friends. I met an amazing girl who made me extremely happy. But everything comes back to you eventually. After being caught in lies several times, all of my friends turned their back on me and justifiably deemed me as a deceitful,immoral monster. Even the amazing girl that I was in a relationship with, who possessed the kindness to look past all of it and still provide me with some kind of happiness, didn't have a speck of trust for me.That fucking hurt. I felt as if the the mask I had been painting all these years was suddenly ripped from my face, and burned in front of me. Exposing the ugly person I truly was, displaying it for everyone to see. Cycles of seasonal depression shortly followed. I fell into my own pit of self-pity.I wanted nothing more than to be the person that I made myself out to be, nothing more than for all of the lies to be true. All I had left was my relationship. The girl I was with was kind, caring, sweet, and she loved me for who I was. She honestly made me really happy. But i put her through a lot of shit. I would lie to her about things that I didn’t even want to. Jealousy was conceived from my insecurities and I became extremely possessive and manipulative.All because I was so afraid she’d leave me for someone who was better. It wasn’t until I was forced to take a good look at myself and realize how much of a bag of shit I was. I asked her for a break, and began to learn to love myself. Currently I am eating better, working out, and just trying to make myself a better person In general. It’s been almost a month since I’ve lied last, and I don’t think I’ve ever felt better about myself. I hope that one day I can become the great person I made myself out to be in the first place, and until then I won’t stop working on it.

/r/AskReddit Thread