Last year I was in a terribly negative space emotionally as a junior in college. No friends, subpar grades, stressed and anxious about any and everything, angry and distrusting towards the only people in my life, frustrated with daily 2-3 hour commutes to school, consuming a poor diet, and having little hope that it'd all be worth it in the end. I wondered if I'd ever get a job or have a real life, or if I'd just be a failure in life. I thought heavily about suicide and even fantasized about it for months and months. I brought a knife to my chest but couldn't will myself to take the final plunge. I cried and cried for nights on end, alone and lost in this world. I thought life was just a dumb joke not worth hearing the end of. If I had gone through with it, if I had destroyed myself- I wouldn't be where I am today. A senior in college at age 20 who just signed a contract for $100,000 with one of the largest companies in the world for a dream job that I will be starting after I graduate this May. I will be in one of my favorite cities in the world, working for a company I admire, with young people I hope to soon call friends, while building the life and future I only used to dream about others living. Now my mind is clear, and I feel free- free as a bird. I think often about my next phase in life, and how fortunate I am to have been granted this blessing. It still makes me shake my head in awe when I think about the change in luck I've experienced over such a short amount of time. Hell, I even turned Amazon down for a job offer just last week! I thank God, my family, and the better part of me that convinced myself to just keep hanging on.