Never told anyone, and I'll probably delete this later since it isn't a throwaway, but I was at a party my sophomore year of high school, and had this one girl try and show me something that was upstairs, away from our peers.

She ended up kissing on me (sweet!) and then straddling me (not sweet!), I honestly didn't know what was going on because before this, it was all dumb hand/oral shit with my now ex-girlfriend. I wasn't expecting it, and I didn't ask for it. Everything was a blur, and it was over as fast as it started.

I haven't told a single person about this up until a month or so ago. My parents never knew, my therapists never knew, and the only person who knows now is my current girlfriend.

It didn't really impact me, necessarily. I'm still attracted to girls, and don't see myself attracted to dudes. I just don't really enjoy sex anymore. I am almost 20, now. Whenever I am about to have, or am having sex, it feels like I'm doing something wrong. Something I shouldn't be doing.