I have been raped (wow as I'm typing that for the first time it really has a profound impact on me) 4 times in my life. The first time was by an older woman when I was just a really young child maybe 3 or 4 and it is one of my earliest memories. She had asked me to give her a massage and I war rubbing her back and she kept telling me to go lower so I did till I was rubbing her butt then she rolled over and told me now the front and put my hand between her legs. I didn't realize anything was wrong with that till many years later. The second time was by my older female cousin I was about 6 and she was 8. She pulled me into her closet where we would play from time to time and she asked me to play mommy and daddy. She took aff her clothes and told me to take mine off to then she proceed to sit on my face and then sat on my hips and put me inside her. The third time after taking some sleeping pills to an attempt suicide but I only had like 3 ambien I went to a friend's house, she was about 17 and I was 20. I hung out there and talked to her for a while trying to get my head straight and eventually I passed out. When I woke up again she was on top of me riding me and I had drool and puke on me. I got myself back together and rode my motorcycle back home and never spoke to her again. ( I later found out she told people I was selling her heroin and that's why she stopped talking to me, I have never even seen heroin)

The fourth time was recently about 2 years ago on Easter (I was about 29)I was at the jersey shore and I drank ALOT! I passed out on the toilet of a crowded Mexican food place. I was there with my girlfriend, her cousin and her brother they drank a lot too and were at a table. When I woke up again I had apparently left the door unlocked and there was this little Asian girl riding me and sucking on my neck. I shoved her off and she just looked at me and said "I'm so sorry" pulled up her pants and ran out of the building. I talked to my girlfriend's cousin later about it and she helped me tell my girlfriend about it. My girlfriend made me feel better about it and never brought it up again. The hardest part about it is that I am 6'5 and 200 pounds the last 2 girls had to be about 5 feet and 90 pounds. The only person I ever told besides my girlfriend laughed at me.