This sounds extremely similar to that time I was cliff jumping off 100+ foot cliff for the first time. I'm on sure if I was going to die in my situation, or if I was just slipping into unconsciousness temporarily. Everyone else had already jumped off, and they were just jumping in feet first. I decided I'd top them all and do a group that flip.
Since it was so high but I didn't know the exact height I didn't feel comfortable going for a double, so I made a calculated slow single front flip which got me in feet first.
UNFORTUNATELY by the time I had untucked my lower body and hit the water, my head was still tucked. My face took the full force of whatever was left of that soft, cushiony surface, and I was in the water.
My eyelids grew extremely heavy, my thinking was slowed, my muscles started to feel weaker and weaker every moment. The second I realized I felt bad, my first thought was that I needed to get to the surface and get to land.
I got to the surface and when my limbs started to feel like they were shutting down on me for good, I started screaming for help. By this point I had accepted that I may or may not drown now. The memory of an article I read on drowning that said it is painless and that you normally pass out before you die flashed through my head. I slightly recall making a joke to myself of something along the lines of if I drown, at least the sea monster at the bottom of this lake will protect me (the lake had an INSANE drop off so that even though the water was clear blue, you couldn't see the bottom).
My buddies at first thought that I was joking because they said I was screaming in a high pitched voice like a girl (all I remember was that my voice sounded slightly horse and a little weak, but perhaps my balls weren't in the best shape after that jump so they could be right. Not sure). But when I started to go under because my legs were now giving out to the black haze in my brain and weakness, they realized I was serious and swam towards me. I'm told it took 3 of them to get me to shore. One swimmer chick, and 2 body builders to haul me to shore (by now my limbs were gone so they were hauling a full 150+ pounds deadweight to shore).
I only remember hearing the girl say that she thinks I'm serious an & might be in trouble. After that I was under water. I remember bits and pieces of being pulled to shore, but I remember nothing of the guys helping out.
Once I got to shore, I layed there with small waves lapping against my chin and all I did was try to stay awake. I knew that I definitely didn't want to fall asleep or unconscious because that would be bad at this point. I went so far as to focus on a certain cloud shape and try to think of what it may be so as to keep my mind active and not drift off into law law land. Occasionally, I'd hear a sound and try to figure out what it was (I don't think I figured much out but the effort probably helped). I felt a small tingling on the left half of my face that may or may not have felt like pain. I didn't care.
After about 15 minutes of laying here, and my ability to talk coming back to me, we concluded that it was safe to at least make an attempt to stand up and walk to the car about 2 miles away. I did a good job of limping there with the help from the two guys, although it did require a few rest breaks.
By the time I was in the car, all I remembered from the walk was thousands of beautiful autumn trees passing me by. I think I recall a nicely crafted bench on the way, but I don't remember why I thought it was nicely crafted.
As we were rising in the car I recall everyone constantly asking me if i thought I needed to go to the hospital. At one point the driver said that I had to choose now because the hospital is that way but our destination was the opposite. I opted out of the hospital ride even though I still had to will myself to lift my head up.
I guess I have a hard head or something, because the next time I looked in the mirror (which was like a week later since rarely looked in mirrors at the time), it looked like I had gotten into really hardcore bar fight and won, since I had a big black left eye and left cheek, and a small purple spot on the right side below the eye.
The school counselor apparently got a few concerned remarks since he asked to see me personally and had a hard time believing my story. I had to call a buddy to confirm it before he'd let me leave his office.
Long story short, I felt at peace with dying, however I made every attempt not to die since this was not how I wanted to die (probably what you'd call a last fighting chance). God didn't come into my mind, since I'm not all that religious, but I did think of where my body would end up (just a pile of bones on the lake floor but that didn't bother me). I didn't have any memories flash before my eyes like you'd see in the movies either.
The scariest part was probably my body shutting down on me and me realizing this as it happened. Slowly (pretty quickly actually) my limbs would have the juice sucked out of them. First my arms since they were working the hardest, then my legs once I got to the surface. I had to will myself to stay conscious, otherwise I guarantee I could have gone unconscious within the first 15 seconds after I hit the water if I let myself just go and had not forced myself to stay awake. The constant focusing I had to do made my head hurt and made everything else harder, but I knew if I didn't find a way to stay awake something bad would happen.
All in all, I think the whole experience made me realize how strong the mind can be. How much of a roll personal motivations can have when facing a choice to just take the easy way out and let your [really] heavy eye lids close (possibly forever) or stay focused on the situation and continue on.