[serious] Is it okay to push your mom out of your life if it’s to protect your mental health and overall wellbeing? Why or why not?

I did it to my family in 2008 and didnt have contact again until 2015-now. Specifically my mom was the most cut off then everyone else. Why? Well personal issues ranging from a fucked up childhood to being stalked and embarrassed on facebook (before it was that it is now).

Doing so allowed my to do whatever the hell i wanted and oh did I make many regretful mistakes. It helped me to realize the first 18 years of life were just fantasy and that the real world is not something to take lightly. Cutting everyone off had its negative tolls too. I couldnt ever ask for help. Hungry? Eat rice and water until paycheck time, bag of chips for lunch? Gourmet babay! (Hint: dont runaway to a city with the most expensive rent, unless you have a degree).

The things I learned because of being hungry, always broke, always alone really helped me become a survivor. The negative part was it damaged my mental health even now in my 30's when things are not nearly as bad as ten years ago.

My stubborness to never "come crawling back" actually gave me the "ha! I did it, in your face!!!!!!", Feeling but I lost years of time that could have been used to build a better adult relationship with my family instead pf being butthurt over the little things that seemed so huge.

Amongst my family, im the one who dissapeared for tens years to run away to the big apple. No one knows why, but it happened.

Now my parents although divorced and in seperate states, all of a sudden have health issues. My mom now has parkinsons, on top of her previous Guillain-Barré syndrome (GBS). My dad the 22 year marine vet now has a belly and bad knees requiring surgery and his face no longer looks young but resembles grandpa..

Unless your already settled and started in life I would think real hard about cutting someone out of your life. The worse thing anyone can do is live life without family. Its easy being the lone ranger because you only got you to worry about. But alot can happen in ten years, are you willing to live with what you miss? Can you live with your brothers and sister feeling like you abandoned them?

Whatever is making you want to cut your mom off for your mental health, think really hard about it first. I did it out of stubborness and trying to prove that this marine can do it alone, I dont need anyone.. I regret ever leaving my hometown and driving 500 miles to my now home. I should have been a bigger man at the time, thankfully no one died while I was showing my ass.

Think really hard before cutting someone out that is blood. Its easy to do but has life long consequences that are different for everyone.

/r/AskReddit Thread