Sometimes people can change. It's possible. I mean we never know for sure and only you can know if you're willing to let your father back into your life.

If he's a bad person, you should protect yourself. Maybe he's figured things out and he may realize now that you do mean something to him.

If you can have a coffee with him once in a while even if you hate him... there would be no harm in that. Maintain your boundaries and don't let him cross what you're comfortable with in terms of his being involved...

But in my situation I've learned that it could have been resolved utterly if we all wanted the same thing and if we had some kind of support from other family members who worked against us.

At the end of the day you know if your father is worth it... and also if you're worth it. You won't get another chance to repair things and maybe if you do, he can make up for the pain he's caused you and in doing so that might repair the damage he has suffered that made him turn so cold and bitter when your mom and him split.

No guarantees and only a slim chance but I hope you get to have that.

I know it's difficult but don't be mad. You you really did give it your all then that is just how it was supposed to be. I'm sorry it is that way. Maybe one day something better will happen with the situation

Thanks for that, fellow redditor. Definitely meant a lot to read that.

I hope it does but I fear that it will start again only to be an even worse situation. I was building bridges and she was knocking them down. Parent and adult-child relationships don't work unless both people are only building the bridge and guarding it and protecting it rather than smashing it because of some petty shit.

Maybe you can use that idea with your father. Talk to him and let him throw excuses at you then get real with him. Tell him how he hurt you. Listen too... because nobody knows all sides unless they are very inquisitive and patient.