As a son who's mother probably thinks the same: don't necessarily blame him.

My mom is a massive bigot. Constantly ignores everything I say and do. She gets mad at me that I don't want to talk to her, yet every time I try to talk to her she either completely ignores what I'm saying or says what I'm saying is stupid and dumb (imagine me talking about things I love and her just shitting on them).

Constantly having that growing up got to me. She was in town visiting the other week and we were to spend a day together. That day was fine up until the end of the day when she turned her super selfish bigot mode on (yelling at people that were doing things she deemed inappropriate, telling others how ridiculous their lives are and how awesome hers is).

The next day she wanted to spend a few hours extra as she had some down time. She arrived 20 minutes early and I had to go downstairs to let her in. By the time I went to the elevator she was let in by the staff. I heard her say "He's a pill, the only reason I'm here is because I have nothing else to do." She didn't see me and I heard her.

Called her out on it. She says "Well you are an asshole." She then sits in my room and I try to talk to her about things I really like and am into. She is sitting on her computer ignoring everything I say. Eventually an hour passes and she says "ok time to do what I want now, let's go."

She lies to all of her friends about me and says I'm a terrible person. Except I've talked with one of these friends and found out she gave them 5% of the story and left out the part about how she wronged me. She would open my very personal mail (bank statements on an account that was solely mine). I told her that this was a violation of my privacy and to never do it again. She did it at least 4 more times that I'm aware of. Told me that all of her other friends open their kids mail and I replied "yeah but I bet those friends never explicitly told their parents not to, you continue to do it and violate my trust with you. If I ask you to do something, don't do it." For the record I have never been in trouble with the law and I have never had any money problems so it's not like she's looking out for me.

I dunno. All I have to say is they become who they are because of the environment around them.