Sorry this is so long. My MIL says things to me about my BIL and I’m sure that she’s so fed up. He’s only 20 but there’s nothing there; no motivation, want, or any needs that’s he’s even wanting to do his own thing. I’m not talking about still living with his parents. It’s not wanting to take care of himself, bettering his future or wanting to do something to earn money, get things he wants without relying on his parents for everything. He has no job and doesn’t plan to get one in the near future. He just got his learners permit (about a month ago) because we told him he needed an ID (didn’t even have a state ID). His parents had to take him to that, help him study for whatever test, pay for it and even ask him to get cleaned up (take a shower, brush hair, whatever). It’s sad. His life isn’t hard. My MIL has two ponies and some chickens. He lets them out between 12-1:30pm. He does put them up at night too. That’s all he does. He complains about that. That it’s not fair that he has to do all of that. We ask him all the time what he’s wanting to do for his future (even getting a job would be a major accomplishment for this boy). He says “ I want to twitch and earn money through streaming. Do video game design.” He went to Gordon Cooper (his junior year of highschool and that’s it). He was supposed to go back but had to drop that to finish his high school credits out so he could graduate with his friends. We told him “that’s fine but for you to do that, get the things you need and want, you can’t rely on your parents to pay for it all. It’s not fair on them to work and you play video games. Get a part time job and pay for whatever you’re needing.” But even that is too much for him to do. He’s lazy. He wants his dad to stick his neck out for him to get a job for him (where his dad works). I told them not to do that because his work ethic isn’t there for you to stick your neck out like that. He wakes up around noon and after getting the animals out, goes back to bed. He doesn’t shower for weeks on end unless his mom begs him too. He sleeps on the couch because his bed isn’t cleaned off (with his stuff. His mom already cleaned his room and threw whatever he wanted to keep on his bed. He has yet to clean it off). He doesn’t know how to cook for himself. Take care of himself. I asked his mom if she has any standards or sees him doing anything in his future. She said “no. I don’t see him moving out any time soon.”

I see that he could do a lot worse. Be in a lot worse. My husband and I want him to better himself to make things easier on their parents. My BIL doesn’t care.