I still have some, it‘s just that my mind takes to much leaps and turns in some thoughts were it just somhow appears to me it would ve better if i was just dead.

If i hadn‘t set the myself the goal to never do something that could traumatize people i care for i think i would have done it at some point in time.

i know it sounds more like a luxus problem but i just can‘t seem to process my thoughts in a way that make me care about me and my mental health. Everytime i think about it it just seems like i‘m just not worth the time and effort and forcfully try to make me and the people around me smile just so i could say that’s my purpose.

I just want everyone arround me to be as happy as they could be and just the thought of people not being as happy as they could be and all the shit thats going on in this world makes me somehow feel like i don‘t belong and then i snap back to reality typing in to my phone snd think what am i doing with my time...