Let's start back in 2010. My dad had began dating a woman just near the end of 2009. I never really spoke to her face to face for a while. It took up until late 2010 till I did. 2011 is when I met her daughters, who, their mom was afraid of them not getting along with me or vice versa. My friend and I, and those two, had a pretty good time. So now, let's fast forward to 2012.
2012 arrives. I've been with someone for a few months now. In April, I was now 21. The next month, the month of May, it was planned to help my dad's girlfriend (or fiance) and her daughters move into our home. To me, this didn't bother me. My schedule was so erratic because I worked for a grocery chain and I wanted my dad to just be happy. So, I helped them all out. It was actually fun near the end of the night we helped them move in. Oddly enough, the older step-sister obtained my cell number. Of course, I'm driving in a U-Haul and I have a text from a number I don't recognize. Her friend was sitting next to me in the truck and he looked, and he's like 'oh, that sounds like her.' So it was her and we texted back and forth up until we arrived at the house. Let's call her AQ from here on.
June rolls around. I'm still doing my normal thing, working odd hours. AQ decided that she wanted to say something to me along the lines of my guitar playing and games that I play. So I decide to have the chat with her. I was surprised how well we got along, considering I'm 21 and she's 16. I can't really tell you if there was a connection right then or not, but her mom was pretty happy to know that I was getting along with her and her sister. We hang out every other night that I wasn't working late and the like. To me, it was cool because it felt like I had this friend for years, even though we've only known each other realistically for weeks now. Sometime the next week, her mom mentioned something about me turning off the internet so they could stop being "vampires" and get up at a decent time each day. So I decided... alright. I was the one that controlled our internet. I had a PC that ran Linux and handled the firewall and routing. So I shut them off, expecting them to ask me what's up. Not a word came about. I headed to my then girlfriend's place. Next morning, I roll back in home and I hear one of them say 'yeah the internet turned off.' I thought 'oh, here we go.' So I get into the kitchen and their mom goes "Did you turn off their internet?" I say 'yes, why? You guys should probably get a decent sleep schedule.' And the younger one says 'but I have friends on the opposite side of the world.' And I said "So? Wake up at 6 am to talk to them, that's when it comes back on." -- She hated me for the rest of the summer after that. But this story isn't about her, so moving on.
Near the end of the month, I had been talking to someone online for a while that lived in my state. The story behind this is, there was an online community I participated in and he seemed pretty cool. I mean, yeah, he was still in high school, but we shared some interests in the video games that we played and hit it off. Pretty cool guy, in my opinion. One day, he decided to ask if we could hang out at my place or whatever, and I said sure, but I live way out west. He didn't seem to mind and I figured, fuck it, I'll go pick him up. I have the next two days off. What's the worst that could happen? I set up my desks to situate for a mini-LAN party and the like and headed out around... I think it was 10PM. Everyone appeared to be asleep. Right before I left, I looked his email address up on facebook. I noticed something weird... his mutual friend was AQ. I was like '... really.'
So I drive out way east. This takes maybe an hour or so and we head back to my place. We already decided on the games we were going to play and what not, telling stories about the dumb shit we've done. Now, this isn't a problem when we arrive. The problem is, my dog freaked out. Turns out AQ was still awake. She comes down trying to help calm the dog down from barking (as to not wake up the parents), and I notice he's staring at AQ. He goes "Wait... You went to Sol with... You're AQ!" and she goes "Yeah! How do you not remember?" -- I sighed to myself. The three of us actually hung out together. It reached about 12AM and he went 'You know, I should probably go home.' So I say 'Want to go with us, AQ?' She goes 'sure!' She rides along with us, and it was amusing to say the least. We drop him off and head back west again. We were talking about writing and novels, something that we both had an interest in. At what I thought was a good part of the talk, she goes 'Hey by the way, he's gay.' I go "So?" She goes 'I just thought you should know, he totally fucking wanted you.' And I go "Sigh. Well, at least you were there to prevent that awkward shit from happening." -- When AQ and I got home, I swear to you, we sat on the stairway and talked till 7AM. It was an interesting night. Never again will I do that shit, though. Should have figured something like that would have happened. After that though, me and that guy never spoke or gamed together again lol.
July rolls around. I get offered to do an internship being a Linux admin. At this point is where I technically moved out. I say technically because I left in July, and every week I'd work and stay with my mom, and then stay back west for the weekend with my dad and the rest of that family. There was a moment or two where AQ and I had moments where we could just talk and talk and talk. There was a few weekends where the girlfriend had come over and sometime after spending time downstairs with the family, she would say "OK, AQ needs to step off. She's pissing me off." I go 'Why?' She goes "Do you not see it? She keeps trying to talk over me and flirt with you. She obviously likes you." I go 'Hm. Well, I doubt that. She's family, so whatever.' -- She consistently went on about this a few times, but I ignored it. Our relationship began to get rocky anyway. There was a line of communication just missing. I could see her point, but she could never see mine. Or maybe it was something else. I don't know. What I do know is AQ and I would have long conversations every now and then on facebook or in person.
One particular month, I think it was February. AQ had her friends, including her boyfriend over. My door was closed to wash out their noise while I did some work on my servers. So I hear some walking coming up to my door and I hear her say "Just open it." 'Will he get mad?' "No, just open it." My door opens, and no one walks in. She pushes her boyfriend in and he's like 'hey' and I greet them. Her other friend, she walks in and I meet them. They actually ask me "Are we bothering you?" I say 'Not at all. I have an open-door policy. Ever need to talk, come on in.' So they leave and I hear her go "You were right. He's nice!" That made me feel good.
April of 2013 rolls in. The relationship between the girlfriend and I was long over. I had told AQ the day before I showed up that friday I'd help her reload her laptop, get VMWare on it so she should start learning Linux. She really wanted to dive into it, seeing the stuff I did on the network in the house and the stuff I did at my actual job. She was intrigued and I love to teach and love to pass on my knowledge. So I spent the time in her room getting her laptop going. The parents went to sleep I think around 10 or so, like usual. Her laptop was taking an abnormal amount of time to get passed the setup screens. So we were being VERY playful. Mind you, I'm almost 22, and she's now 17. We were on her bed and she found it funny to try to tickle me or something. All I know is I was so tired that I kept poking her nose and making her giggle. It was amusing. At a certain point I was just lying there, trying to keep myself awake and she had nudged herself closer and closer to me. That's when it happened. We began to kiss. After what seemed like minutes, I open my eyes and we're staring at each other and she moves away and into the corner of her bed staring at me. She looked scared. She goes "I'm sorry. If you were dreaming about V I understand." I say "No, I was awake the whole time. Why would I be thinking about her?" -- I turn off her light, close her door, close the laptop lid and sit next to her.
We began to talk and make out, jumping between those things. It was odd. I asked her 'So why me? What do you want?' And she goes 'The truth is, I've liked you for a very long time. Before we ever moved in. But I never said anything because I wanted to ignore it. You're my step-brother, and I told myself I can't feel that way about you. When you left in July, that's when I knew. I couldn't let it go. The only way I could think of to try and ignore the feelings was to be with someone else that I liked a little bit. I honestly don't want to be with him and the relationship is getting stale anyway.' I told her "I understand. What about your prom next weekend?" She goes 'I'll just get through it.' The next night, she slept in my room. We didn't go all the way, but she decided she wanted to give me a hand job. I was OK with this, and I tried to share the favor, but she refused. I asked her later why and she was too embarrassed to explain that she's a squirter. We later laughed about it, though it still gave her sort of panic, what I would think. Something along the lines of her afraid of what I'd think about her. The weekend of her prom is when we went all the way through with it. I regretted it to an extent because of the age difference. She said she lost her virginity when she was 14, but I wasn't too sure about that or whatever. I thought that maybe she said that for the same reason she got all anxious about how her sexual parts worked. I let it go, because really, it didn't matter to me. I just wanted to help her feel good and make her happy.
(cont'd)