Speaking as a significant other to someone who is diagnosed as clinically depressed - for some people, it never really goes away because its caused by a brain chemical imbalance. Depression can be caused by shitty life circumstances or high stress situations or massive hormonal fluctuations. The teenagers in this thread that “outgrew” depression and are telling you that you just need to change your habits are both right for their specific situations and 100% not helpful if your depression is clinical and caused by a brain chemical imbalance. In fact, their statements might make the shame and blame worse - i.e. “if other people can beat depression, why can’t I? Is it my fault that I’m depressed?” This line of reasoning can even more hurtful for someone who already thinks they’re a shitty human and is not helpful.

A lot of people I’ve known with depression thought it was the shitty life circumstances. My SO was in grad school when diagnosed and grad school is stressful and difficult and soul crushing. After we got of grad school, she planned for a 6 month fun-employment. She planned painstakingly - excerise in the morning, daily meditation, reading goals, video games, everything she would do that was fun/invigorating/healthy and importantly removed from the stressful situation where she was first diagnosed in. And then she went off the depression meds. And, SURPRISE! The depression came back even though her life was “perfect.” It wasn’t her fault, there was nothing she could’ve done to prevent its. Her brain chemicals are imbalanced and the medication helps balance them out.

The problem with depression is that you’re already thinking you’re a shitty human and the world is against you. And the depression is a loop of negative self thought. For my SO, that means that she gets depressed, and then blames her bad feeling on herself. Why can’t she kick these thoughts, everyone has none of these problems, ergo, she is a bad human. Ultimately, I have to tell her when its the depression and remind her that its brain chemicals. Its completely out of her control, and therefore NOT HER FAULT. The many medications we’ve tried - some help significantly, some don’t do anything, some have terrible side effects. We basically monitor the depression and treat it as best we can and ask for medical help when needed. Medication has been a godsend.