20 years old now, got bullied since 4th grade for several years.

its part of the reason why i need a psychotherapy now. The first time that i actually had a female friends was like 3 years ago, we had some kind of fight though. However i found several new friends in University now. I had huge problems talking to women, never had a girlfriends obivously, i barely know how a hug feels and didn't experience my first kiss yet... i dont even know how it feels to hold hands. I never really learn how to works to make friends and i found out how a relationship is formed like, 2 weeks ago (thanks to my great psychotherapist).

So.. yes.. i feel bad about it, i still feel lonely quite often and this whole social thing is quite exhausting. its getting a lot better but those guys took a lot away from me.

There were periods of time where i whished that they died, i wanted to see them bleed, suffer and get tortured until theyre complete wrecks.. one of the things they used to say is that i would never find a gf or get succsessful in life.

Today.. i think i just wouldn't talk to them, or say "look at me you fucker, what did you achive? Nothing. I got no respect for you, be gone." I feel like im way above them now. I still got many things that i need to fix, the damage is done but im on a good way to clean this whole mess up, i don't waste my time with thinking about it anymore. Sometimes i even try to do good things with it, i can help people who get bullied or suffer from depression/ suicidal thoughts. I do my best to turn this whole shit that has happened to me into something good.

Don't kill me for grammar mistakes pls. im kinda sleepy right now but it was very important to me to give an answer :D