With my first child, I received a paltry amount of child support, but I needed every penny of it. We shared physical custody. For the most part, it worked out well and got a lot easier as my daughter grew older. We learned that holidays and birthdays didn't need to have a specific day attached to them, so we celebrated them when we were together. It never felt like we 'missed' a special day due to alternating visitation schedules. Twenty-four years later - she and her father are fairly close, but definitely have their ups and downs.

With my second child (my children are 15 years apart), her father and I haven't spoke with each other since I was 2 months pregnant. He chose to want nothing to do with it. He has plenty of money, owns his own successful business and has a lot of assets. I could easily get a lot of support from him. But the thing is, I don't want to force fatherhood on him. He's made his choice and could easily contact me if he changed his mind. I'm in a position where I don't need his money. Would it be helpful? Yes, it would. But putting her in the position of being denied regularly by her biological father is not worth a penny. I'm grateful I don't have to co-parent with him, and I don't ever daydream about what his support could change for our lives. I give her tons of love and try to surround her with family & friends so she never feels like she's missing out on something. She gives me a card & gift every Father's day, which still melts my heart each year.

I don't know how helpful that is, but it does give you a glimpse of two sides, neither of which I have any regrets.

Best of luck with your choice.