Well its hard to pick the most absurd, so Ill let you decide.
We showed up at one of my GF's friends, we will call her Julie, who was a heroin addict (we were trying to get her to quit, which ended up being successful). When we got there Julie had kicked out her BF/dealer, we will call him Kevin. What we didn't know is that he was hiding in Julie's car. We decided we wanted to go out to eat and that I would drive. Well when we get out to the car Kevin is in the driver seat. He's obviously high so we offer to drive him home. I'm the only one sober (GF had been drinking) so obviously I'd be driving. Kevin wasn't having it. He wouldn't let his girl be driven around by another man. Well while we were trying to talk sense into him Julie had gotten into the passenger seat, my girl got into the back amd I was at the driver side with the door open. Unfortunately Julie has a keyless entry vehicle and as soon as Kevin was able he started the car and threw it in reverse slammed on the brakes when he got into the road which closed all the doors and took off down the road. Now Julie owned a Nissan Maxima, which if you dont know is basically a 4 dr sports car. We had brought our top heavy suv, which I jump in and start chasing them. They were heading straight for the highway. Luckily they turned down a back road and my girl grabbed the steering wheel from the back seat and ran the car off the road into a parked truck. The owners of the truck came out and we got them to discreetly call the cops and Kevin is doing 10 years.
My GF and I went out to the bar with a bartender friend of hers we will call Sarah. We were playing pool when Sarah says "Oh shit, I know that girl, she is sleeping with my friends husband and she hit me the other night." She let the bouncers know the situation and they said they would keep an eye on her. Well sure enough a couple hours later in the night when everyone may have had one too many drinks the girl comes up to Sarah and puts her arm around her and says "what's up bitch". It takes my GF a second to realize that this is the chick that Sarah had warned about. My GF grabs the chick and says "No one lays a hand on my friend". She had the presence of mind to aim to restrain and not harm thank goodness. Luckily the bouncer had seen the chick coming up behind Sarah and was 2 steps behind her. Unfortunately the chick wasn't by herself. She was out with apparently her whole family. I'm talking mother, sister, aunt and cousins. Well as they are trying to kick out the chick her family gets in on the action. Luckily for Sarah she was well liked and had many friends... A FULL ON BAR BRAWL erupts. There are broken glass bottles, people slugging it out on the ground, clothes getting torn, tables being flipped and too much going on for security to quickly handle. Finally security with the help of the bartenders are able to get the offending party out. We have since been banned from every bar in town.
I'll try to keep this short and sweet. We are at Thanksgiving at my GF's grandparents. My GF has a brother we will call Nick who is an absolute tool. He used to hit his older sister (not my GF) so he was banned from family events that the sister was attending. Well her mom finally convinced her to give Nick a 100th chance. After dinner, which went surprising well, Nick offered a peace offering to his sister. She said she didn't want it. Well all hell broke loose. The gift he was giving her was a knife, and he proceeds to use the peace offering to threaten her. Well he gets super frustrated that she won't listen to him so he goes out side and uses the knife to "key" her car and write vulgar words on the hood... That's how Nick got assault charges from his sister on Thanksgiving.
Last but not least my GF wants to save the World. We have 12 dogs that are all rescues and not 12 small dogs. We have a great pyrenees, great dane, 2 chows, 2 boxers, hound mix, staffordshire terrier, pug, dachshund, rat terrier and chihuahua. Anytime a dog is going to be put down she saves it. Luckily we have 10 acres for them to run around on and my GF is a vet tech and a trainer so they all get along and are well taken care of. Also if we find a good home, we adopt them out. So maybe not too absurd, maybe I'm just bitter that we have gotten an extra 3 dogs in the last 2 weeks... Lol.
So you decide which is most absurd.