[Serious] Reddit, what secret did your spouse keep from you until after you were married?

My ex-wife didn't tell me that she was rapid cycling manic depressive bi-polar until after we were married. We were both pretty young. She was 19, and I was 20. Her parents were heavily involved in her life, and given their financial support, they heavily pressed her to take her meds. When we got married, she stopped taking them. She didn't like some of the side effects, so she thought this was a better option. I was supporting her through college, which she flunked out of. She wouldn't get a job and work. Her being alone at home so much eventually led to her getting lonely, having an affair, and I told her to get out after that. We rented an apartment, and she wouldn't have been able to pay for it on her own.

Ultimately, I realized I never really knew her. She lied about so many things, that I'm not sure how much of the woman I knew was actually her. She became a minor celebrity through a documentary about niche culture where she describes me as a physically abusive, controlling husband. I did get kind of controlling toward the end, but it was after I discovered she was cheating on me. She said she wanted to work things out, and I questioned where she was and what she was doing a lot more. I wasn't physically abusive, though. The opposite was true. I still have scars, although they have faded some. I didn't really consider it possible for a man to be abused by a woman. She took advantage of the fact that I, hulking brute of a man, would not hit an 87lb slip of a woman back. She tells people she went to the hospital a few times from things I did, but it's not true. Her medical records would prove that. Mine would prove having to be stitched up a few times.

I forgave her a long time ago. I know she's sick, and I know she'll never be happy. Even her short lived fame didn't bring her any joy. It's hard to feel anything but pity for somebody like that.

/r/AskReddit Thread