I'm appauled by these horrific stories of hideous relationships... I have a good story to tell with regard to marriage.
I had an affair at 30 with a girl I met when I was 17, 5 years younger than I... Having been in a long term from 16, both of us, neither of us any other sexual experience, with 2 daughters... and within 9 months of actually formalising this relationship into a marriage. I was always upfront about my disdain for the institution of marriage but in the end my primary reason for relenting to the concept was so that the mother of my children shared the same name as my children. Societies attitude toward marriage is broken imho. I was never sexually satisfied... We had never really been happy...I'm not sure, infact i probably am sure I had no real grasp on the concept of love and what it means - such a challenge society poses us in regard to this sexuality concept. But children had become my excuse for not persuing my selfish agendas and depression crept into my mental arena - It also affected hers. Bad times So my affair made me happy, greatly. It began in my house as I sat with a friend i'd known for years, It just happened, unexpectedly. It was concealed for a time then guess what busted me... Facebook notification "the sex was great" haha lol My world appeared to be falling apart at that moment and I was actually relishing it. So much so that I reacted jovially... The pure horror of that situation and its impact on my wife's mental state is something I'd much rather not have done.
The affair lasted a few months until mistress called it off. Highlights included about 5 minutes of threesome lesbian fun... Until other party objected and I had to give her a lift home. Also the other type of threesome where I got to include the weird (in a lovely way) ex of my mistress - yeah weird. And the time where someone gave mistress some kind of drug, i've no idea what that led to some really fucked up time that ruined a really cool party.
All credit to my wife, we stayed together and our relationship is actually worth something now. We both learned a great deal about the nature of relationships as the whole traumatic event unfolded. We are much ore open and we do so much more together in many respects... If people didn't carry around sick notions of what a relationship is and actually care for each other in a fundamental way, the world of sexuality could be a much nicer place for everyone.
TL:DR - I had an affair that fixed my illusory marriage ftw
Also, and I never even hoped to entertain the notion but it just worked out this way... As a family we go to visit mistress and her family regularly, the two ladies get along just fine. The kids have no idea about any of it. I no longer speak to brother-in-law
As an only child of a marriage that broke up when i was about 3-4 I ended up with a good upbringing because my parents made a good attempt at concealing thier hatred of each other. A life of normalcy in a stable home to a single mother - poverty, I never got the good toys... And looking back I feel so sorry for my mother in that situation. A quote from her: "If I never see that man again, I shall die a happy woman" But the father was a wandering soul and I have lived in many places. A perspective on life that has afforded me an I wish I could share that with people somehow.