I came from a nuclear family. We exploded when I was five. Dad was an alcoholic. The last straw for Mom was when Dad upended the dining room table and sent us kids toppling back in our chairs. He was angry because the peas were cold.

Mom remarried. Dad got tired of paying child support when I was 12 ($200 a month for me and my sister both). We found out when the checks stopped and his landline was disconnected.

The state tracked him down and squeezed the child support out of him when I was about 16. We still didn't talk.

When I got married, I tracked him down because I thought he deserved the courtesy of a notification even if he hadn't been a father for years. He claimed to have his stuff together and to have been in Alcoholics Anonymous for over a year, told me all about his great sponsor, and he wanted my address so he could send us a card/present. I said the present wasn't necessary, but gave him the address.

No present arrived, just a letter outlining his financial circumstances and asking me to send him money. I called him and said I had his letter. He asked what I thought. "I think you didn't care when my sister and I had to eat when you stopped paying child support until you were forced, that's what I think. What's your sponsor's name?"

He gave a different name than during his first story. Strike 1.

"What's Step Five?"

He got it wrong. Anyone going to meetings on a regular basis would have heard them enough to get it right. Strike 2.

"It's okay, check your big book and read it to me." Still couldn't. Strike 3.

There was a reason he wasn't in my life, and needed to stay that way. I was careful about my contact information for years, especially when the internet started to become a thing.

His surviving legitimate offspring all got a call from his widow when he passed away, asking us to come (and of course, to bring money). We all had other things to do.