My teachers growing up were constantly trying to diagnose me and get me put on meds due to my behavior. I was almost always in trouble at school even throughout highschool, and although pretty bright I was far from a model student. i would routinely refuse to do normal things like attend school 5 days a week and complete homework assignments as I knew I would be able to do well on my tests and still pass all my classes. Especially when I was young my parents fought with the school constantly as I was getting yelled at for not being able to sit perfectly still, and asking lots of questions that might not have been exactly what was being covered. I was usually outworking my peers but my parents did not want me to skip grades, and when I was finally able to have the choice myself, I also decided against it as I felt I wouldnt be able to make friends if I was younger than everyone else in my class.

At first I thought I was like everyone else even when told I was gifted. I dont know when it finally kicked in, maybe in middle school when I realized I was not like other people at all and embraced it. I would gladly argue with teachers and be insubordinate and punishment did not affect me as long as I was standing up for what I thought was right. GPA to me was a made up number and I was much more concerned with learning than getting good marks. I would read tons and tons pretty much only nonfiction and usually years above my grade level. My teachers were always polarized with me, some believing in me tons and wanting to challenge me and others thinking I was the worst student they ever had.

I had always blown off the suggestions I was autistic from people as all the autistic people I knew growing up were much lower functioning than I was. It wasnt until college where I cleaned up my act that it really dawned on me that most of my male family display ASD traits. I am glad looking back I was in my 20s when I came to the conclusion as I would have probably had even worse self esteem and social skills due to the diagnoses if it were in childhood. I could also fit ADHD too, but I like the Thom Hartmann theory of ADHD being due to our Hunter Gatherer traits not translating to our new sedentary lifestyle.

Again, a lot of these things are on a spectrum too, so I try not to let any diagnoses define who I am or what I want to do. Many of my heroes were autistic before I knew either of us were but I see why I was drawn towards their often eccentric lifestyles as opposed to just fitting in.