Sometimes that shit happens outta nowhere.

I'd given up hope of finding someone in college. I'm average looking, but I had (still kinda have) low self-esteem. So, I had actually resigned myself to a life of solitude. Then, I made friends with my roommates gf my senior year in college. She was a junior.

Looking back on it, I treated her exactly the way I treat my friends because I thought "Fuck it, I'll probably never end up with her so I'll be super-boring / nerd myself." She was someone else's partner at the time and I didn't dream of actually doing something to fuck that up. Deep down I wanted to, but I've been cheated on and I wasn't about to spread that pain.

And by super boring and nerdy, I mean I'd drone on about things the Nazi Germany class I was taking or about W40k novels or video games (I'm a riot at parties).

The year progresses and I see him treating her like shit. He essentially was stringing her along until he found something better; at least, that's what I ascertained from his portrayed the situation. Despite that, when she'd talk to me about this during those many drunk Saturday nights, I'd always tell her to try to work it out and give him another chance.

The year ends, and she breaks up with him. Told me she was done putting in more effort than he was. Couple days later, I get the balls to ask if she wanted to hang out over the summer. She smiles and says yes.

She, then, gives me silence, other than the occasional response to one of my texts.

Three months go by and she asks if I want to go to the movies. I say yes. After the movie, I walk her back to her car to say good-bye. I try to kiss her cheek and ended up somehow . I missed because she turned at the same moment to go for my lips. We laugh awkwardly and I ask if we could try that again.