My father committed suicide at 19, mother died of liver/kidney failure due to alcohol abuse when I was 20 (just a few months before my 21st birthday), just earlier this year.
The reality hit in waves, lots of little things that got me thinking. Even stuff I never considered at first (weddings, graduation, buying a house, all things they won't be there for). My father was out of no where, and really messed me up for awhile. The few months after I really just kind of drudged through, luckily my friends are fantastic, as is my grandmother. There's no way I would have ended up as well without them, I honestly can never repay them for that. My mother and I didn't have a great relationship for the years before she passed, so I've kind of regretted that. But I had issues with how she lived her life and the person she had become, so what's done was done.
I considered a therapist, but instead I just sought out every similar story I could scrounge up. Mostly here on reddit, reading through peoples thoughts and opinions, and coming to terms with that I feel the same way, and trying to keep a positive outlook on things. I don't want to say "it's nice they went through the same thing" but I will say it's nice knowing you aren't alone in your feelings. Validating the emotions you feel after things like that is kind of hard to do, it's not likely that your friends have gone or are going through anything similar. I have a few friends that I've spoken to about it a number of times, one in particular more so then the rest, just discussing the events, how they happened, what I think of it, how I feel, etc. has been a fantastic release. There are times where I still want to talk about it, I just don't.
I get a pretty decent amount of support from my grandmother, and my friends (as well as their families, they have been very kind to me as well). It's not uncommon for me to be reminded of them, or have something just kind of hit me sometimes. It's the simplest stuff that does me in some days that can kind of set me back to just being a mess. Some days are harder then others, where something just kind of gets into your head and changes your mood over something so insignificant, that reminds you of something so emotional.
I feel like I've basically become a different person because of it all.