[Serious] Redditors who's sexual fantasies became a reality, was it as you expected? Why or why not?

This is a not so great analogy.

Dom is the dm of the game and the sub is the player

Yes, the sub wants to play D&D. They are going out and looking specifically for a DM because they want to play D&D. The DM also wants to play D&D as well. Both parties want to play D&D, nobody is doing anybody a favor, they are just agreeing to play D&D together. That is a very important thing to keep in mind when it comes to proper D&D games.

Yeah you can put a dragon in the dungeon guarding the treasure but if the player decides to not go in the dungeon at all...

Again, the player actively sought out a DM to create this scenario for them. Nobody just made up a scenario and forced the player to play it, nor was the DM forced to create it. That's called consent; both parties agreed to this situation. The DM's enjoyment comes from watching this scenario get played out. The sub's enjoyment comes from playing the game that the DM created. Now the player can choose not to play the game, but the DM put a lot of effort into the game and they might be upset if the player doesn't have a good reason. If the player continually does things like this, nobody will DM for them, and the player can't force them to. This is because the player has consent, but not control. The DM is in the exact same position if no one wants to play in their scenarios, be it if it's because they are too tough or the DM is just an asshat; they have consent, but not control.

Now let's be clear, nobody has to play. They have the power of consent. That is not control, that is just the ability to not play. Let's say they both agree, now the DM has control over the game. The DM generates the scenarios which the player has to deal with. The player can choose to leave the game at any point. Again, that is simply them revoking their consent to play in the game, not control.

The game goes on. Maybe the player is exhausted or was thrown off by a situation and wants to stop or take a break. That's fine. They have the power of consent; they no longer consent to whatever is happening at that moment. They do not have control, as the DM is still in charge of the game, they are simply leaving the game. The DM can do the same as well if they desire. Maybe the DM will change the scenario a bit to accommodate for the player, but that's their decision and they are in control of their actions, not the player. If the player no longer wishes to play, that's fine. The DM, however, can continue their game by finding other players to play in it. Again, the sub has no control over the game, just their ability to leave it.

And it's a shitty dm that forces the characters through the story, and it's a boring player that follows the path blindly.

Maybe this is true. In that case, the parties should use their ability to not consent to the game and find another partner that fits their needs.

TL;DR: Consent and Control are very different. Safe words are signals of a subs consent to a situation, not a way to "control" the dom.

/r/AskReddit Thread Parent