[Serious]Redditors with an autistic spectrum disorder, if autism could be "cured" right now, would you want to be cured?

As a bit of background, I was diagnosed in the early 1990s. I had significant language delay, failure to thrive, and pretty much never stopped crying (was supposedly kicked out of every daycare my parents sent me to, until my mom finally quit her job when I was about 6 months old). I was hyperactive, frustrated, and aggressive. My mom tried all sorts of weird therapies/treatments (extremely restrictive diets, auditory integration therapy, etc.), but I only really started to improve when I started early intervention program through school district (at 3 years old). You can see progress in short video here: https://youtu.be/O4pltTO0SW4

I was mainstreamed in kindergarten (IEP for speech therapy and preferential seating to help with sensory issues, but no aid or other accommodations). I had an amazing best friend (one of the most popular in the entire school) who looked out for me in school (always making sure I was included in things) for many, many years. I wasn't necessarily popular, but I fit in well enough in elementary school (only teased/bullied for being a bit of a teacher's pet and absolutely atrocious in art).

In junior high and high school, I became more socially isolated. I became very depressed and, by the time I was in my late teens, I was not coping at all. I was pretty much certain that I was incapable of working with people. I thought I would always be socially aloof, awkward, and alone. I was painfully aware that I was different from my older sister (she is neurotypical, unlike my younger brother and myself). I tried to get help from therapists, psychiatrists, other doctors, etc., but I could tell that many of them were annoyed by me (I rarely made direct eye contact, but in my peripheral vision, I often saw my therapist rolling her eyes in response to things I said). All of the therapy seemed to reinforce how "abnormal" I was (another therapist was convinced that my anxiety about sensory issues was problematic and tried to prove that it wouldn't "actually hurt" by constantly exposing me to certain textures, sounds, etc. that actually are physically painful to me).

When I was 19.5 years old, however, I saw a new primary care doctor. She treated me respectfully (even when she thought I wasn't looking!) and helped me to get setup with other people that were more helpful to me too. A few years after I started seeing her, I also switched medications. One of them (a stimulant for ADHD) was life-changing. I started making eye contact, became interested in having actual conversations with people, and suddenly found myself being accepted as a seemingly "normal" person. My doctor seemed shocked by the improvement. I proceeded to see 8 different psychiatrists over the next few years (for diagnostic clarification) and all seemed to agree that I did not meet diagnostic criteria for ASD. Some refused to believe that I had ever met criteria.

Of course, medication does not last forever. When it wears off, I often return to my normal self. I get frustrated easily, have meltdowns, don't make eye contact, and am treated very differently by strangers. I am reminded instantly of who I used to be and honestly, I hate it. I relate very much to the main character in Flowers for Algernon. I worry often that my medication will stop working someday and I'll be forced to return to the way I was previously.

I spend most of my time now searching for a "cure" for autism (both personally and professionally). Very few people at work know of my diagnosis, despite many of them being experts in the field. I don't think many would react favorably to self-disclosure, so I take my medication every day and do my best to hide any other symptoms (mainly sensory issues). My own experiences with ASD have very much contributed to my success in my current position, but I would give that up in a heartbeat, if doing so meant that I could stay permanently "cured."

/r/AskReddit Thread