I was suicidal one night. I was 22. Had been off and on since 10 years old. I was out trying to figure out how to do it. Just walking. Near the train tracks. Thought that it wasn't fair to make them deal with it. I should do it alone off in the woods. I get home. My brother has shot himself in the head in his car. The seat of his car had to be thrown out it had so much blood saturating it. After the body was removed and the car driven home I had to clean the car out. I had to sop up all the blood. There were little bits of his brain and skull still stuck in the carpet. I haven't really wanted to really go through with it since. That was half my life ago. I've been much happier and enjoy my life.