i was recovery(not very well, had a major relapse recently too :/) from an eating disorder at time and was being bullied by my friendship group for a little over a year(first it started off as a bit of teasing but became consistent and extremely hurtful). I was under serious pressure and stress due to exams and lost all motivation. I was having a very depressive episode at the time and was self harming almost everyday. My exams were in a couple of weeks when my friendship group had a huge falling out over something so silly. I lost my two best friends and had only 1 person I felt I could talk to. I would be made fun of and things got thrown at me in class by that same group. It got so bad I had a complete breakdown infront of them after one of my best friends suddenly told me she hated me and didn’t want to ever see me again and that I wasn’t needed anymore. And my other best friend just let this happen and got involved. There was a huge screaming match where i just lashed out on everyone involved. Things were put on social media and I was at an all time low. My exams were in a few days and that night I went into a sort of surreal state and cleaned my room spotless then went downstairs and grabbed all the pills I could find. It was like I knew what I was doing but I couldn’t stop myself, I just wanted to disappear. I didn’t realise how many pills I was taken until I had taken around a mixture of 35 aspirin, paracetamol and ibuprofen. I hadn’t had any food for a few days and am quite petite so I immediately started throwing up. I ran into my parents room still in that state and kept repeating sorry over and over apparently. They finally realised what I had done and rushed me to hospital. It was the most horrible time. I threw up for around 10 hours straight, choking on my own vomit. I had to have a catheter put in me and stayed overnight. My mum was a mess and I felt incredibly guilty. I was released from hospital as, it’s hard to admit but, I was extremely manipulative in getting cams and my parents to think that I was fine and Stable. I was released the night before my exams which was extremely hard as I hadn’t really understood what has just happened. I now constantly have suicidal thoughts but I would feel too much guilt, I could never leave my family. I’m just so alone in the world now.