I’m a guy and the first time I “had sex” I had been in a relationship with a girlfriend for almost a year. She was 19 and I was 21–I was a virgin, she was not. I wanted to wait until marriage, she didn’t want to. The express understanding of things was her saying “that’s fine I’ll wait.” Then on Valentine’s Day she got me very drunk downstairs in the living room among friends and eventually coaxed me upstairs. She started with our usual oral sex routine, but then said she needed a shower... asked if I wanted to watch. Invited me in the shower, and then basically it was on autopilot. There was a lot of me saying, “but...” and a lot of her saying “come on.”

I was never happy about that, and it felt crappy the next day—the drunkenness and unremarkable-ness of it. I suppose I don’t say “me too” cuz my story is about a guy being the victim and I don’t think anyone wants to hear that narrative right now. But, it happens to guys—I mean, if you consider getting someone drunk and talking them into it less than fully consensual. She didn’t hold me down, but... eh. I don’t know.