This is too late but I need to say it.

My children.

My marriage is, well, not the best and I'm not sure my husband wouldn't find it a relief. It would solve the issues of custody and financial settlement easily for him and he likes to get his way.

I don't share with him how I feel because I'm sure he'd try to use it against me to take the kids. So, I take the meds and keep pushing it out of my mind. Some days are more difficult but the thought of leaving my little ones to be raised by a man whom I know is incapable of empathy or compassion is to horrible to consider.

I just carry on, not always efficiently or particularly well, but I do.

I couldn't hurt my children that much, not the older ones or younger. It seems a selfish choice, easy for me, but leaving them with the burden of grief and questions unanswered.

So, I'm here. Until I can't be.