[Serious]What made you lose your faith in either humanity or religion?

My faith in religion died a long time ago. I voluntarily went to CCD classes and went to church to learn about Catholicism. I did all my sacriments but I still didn't feel right. I'm a confirmed Catholic but I deny my faith up and down.

My mom has been sick with Sjogrens syndrome, endometriosis, MS, and Lupus since I was 7 and I've watched her go through hell. My father put our whole household on his back and did everything he could to carry us through it. Me being a rebellious teenager and my sister being a 5th grader, never helped. My dad was cracking under pressure, fighting my us and my mom, crying in the fetal position some nights and even screaming for his parents who had died around the time my mom was at her worst.

I got confirmed and still felt like God wasn't listening or hearing us. How could this almighty being let countless families go through this and worse suffering?

Things shaped up, my mom is doing better, my dad is happier than I've seen him since I was a little boy, and my sister is in the Army making us proud. I still look around and wonder why there is so much turmoil in the world, in what is supposed to be "God's children".

I had a crisis of faith one night when I got beaten up by two guys who my ex-girlfriend called on when we were fighting. She said I was hitting her. I walked home, hurt and afraid in the pouring rain and broke down crying. It was movie dramatic and kind of cringey now that I look back but I was 17 so whatever. I sat down in the middle of a field in the rain and cried and screamed at the sky "FUCK YOU!!! YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING GOD!!! YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT US!!!" And then I sat there crying for a while and walked home and went to sleep.

I've been an Atheist ever since and I've been very happy that I'm not constantly questioning my faith, I know what I believe. I'm still very spiritual in the sense that I try to care for others and be generous and be in touch with myself and nature but I'm a happy, non-neckbeard Atheist. Things aren't going great at the moment financially and emotionally for me but I'm confident enough in myself to know that I'm strong enough and determined enough to power through it. I don't need an ethereal being to give me strength, I have the memories and determination that watching my dad helped me acquire that make me strong.

/r/AskReddit Thread