[Serious] What do you need to get off your chest right now?

25 years old, single and virgin. had my first real date last friday and i thought it went ok. but i feel so damn anxious about everything, i don't feel very masculin and i am not expirienced in dating or sex and the last time i was getting some atention from girls was a few years ago. i really like this girl and we know each other for a while now so i told her about my life and how i wasted my last 7 years being high on weed, alcohol and other substances so i don't have to face my issues and thoughts. she had similiar issues but i know that she was in a few relationships and is expirienced in all these things i missed out. i didn't had the chance to tell her how inexpirienced i am and i also don't know if i should do it or if it is a total turn off. i also don't know if she really likes me because i have a big issue with seeing hints or getting signals. everytime that i made out with a girl was because they initiated it. if i would try to initiate something and the girl isn't in to it i would feel like a total creep and hate myselfe for it. i also don't really know what to do next. she said we should repeat it after we had our first date but i don't know if she was just polite because she said that i can bring my friend too if i want (who she also knows and she haven't saw him for a long time but she knows that he is in a relationship). i took that as a signal that she thinks of me as a friend and not something romantic because why should i wan't to bring another person to a date. maybe i have to be more open and tell her how much i like her and how beatiful she is but i also don't really know how to bring that up. i think i will mess this up badly and i can allready feel how my bad thoughts are comming up again

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