I wouldn't say it "ruined" my life, but definitely completely altered it from what I truly expected and wanted at the time.

I'm unable to join the Marine Corps.

Being a Marine was a dream of mine since I was a 4 year old. I was expecting to get out and start my career. Eventually started getting recommended by former special operators to try to pursue something higher like going for MARSOC and what not.

I had a lot of high hopes for that goal. When I was no longer able to join, I felt utter disillusionment. Felt pretty lost for a while after I graduated high school, as my identity was sort of wrapped up in the idea of becoming a jarhead.

A lot of my friends would end up leaving without me, and a lot of the kids I was helping train for their goals. Kids who'd asked me to train them would then go on to join the ranks themselves, and one of my old closest friends ended up going into the Civilian Challenge Program in the Navy and becoming a team guy there.

I at times yearn to be able to go off, but sometimes wonder if it's for the best. I don't want to completely kill off the idea of ever going off, perhaps it's me not wanting to accept it. But honestly, I think it just means "not now", not exactly "never".

I know the time since I've graduated high school in 2015 I've changed quite a bit, developed a lot more character and grit, and have been getting more and more in shape and gaining more wisdom and knowledge.

Got really into reading and am always trying to learn and find other ways. Recruiters I knew would ask me if they could send me some poolees to train with me and I've been doing that, seeing many go from out of shape scrubs into some beastly monsters ready to excel in basic training. Some have come out and told me they were basically passing everyone up thanks to the training.

Since then I've developed a passion for training and am pursuing a personal training certification at the moment so I can have a job to kind of rely on to get through college and eventually become a CSCS (Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist). I love training others with military endeavors or other athletes or people who just want to improve themselves.

I strongly believe in serendipity, and perhaps this is all building me up in a way so that if I can ever join, I'll have been a better career guy than if I'd gone in at 18 and spent every weekend drinking with the guys and gotten out after a mere 4 years. If not, I'll just have been a much better person in general with another career I'm happy and passionate about.

TL;DR: Got barred from joining the military, struggled through phases of depression due to an identity/existential crisis (probably an exaggeration), but eventually found other passions such as training others and prevailed due to the mentality I would've applied towards the Marine Corps.