(Serious) What secret could ruin your life?

I'm 18 almost 19. High school was rough, played a sport and was given a nickname (mentioning it would ruin my life). This nickname was given to me by the upperclassmen and defined my entire 4 years in high school. I embraced it thinking the name would die off because I didn't react negatively towards it. I was known by 80% of the school in the first 3 weeks of freshmen year. People would ask if I was that kid named ______. This nickname although nice because I was known also got me depressed, I went from having friends to nothing. I played 40 a week of video games, did poorly in school, and kept playing the sport. I was terrible with girls still have not had a girlfriend to this day, and very little friends as it is. I debated suicide many times sophomore and junior year. Tried at the beginning of the senior year, but met some friends and got a little better. I went to prom with a group of friends, the girl I went with was really hot and cool, but I know now that she was a massive alcoholic and actually put herself into the hospital (she also didn't think Deadpool was funny.)

So know I'm a freshman in community college. I work at a fast food restaurant getting paid $13, play video games so much.

I'm depressed as fuck and try to hide it, the only thing that gives me happiness is this girl I met online a few months ago, Twitch/Youtube, and video games. I haven't thought about suicide since I met this girl, but it makes things stressful because I really like her but I am not good at talking to her.

/r/AskReddit Thread