Developed epilepsy, depression, becoming suicidal, self harming, and being admitted to a psychiatric hospital. Got through the epilepsy easily and I am now seizure free, but that was one hell of a year. The depression was something that developed after the epilepsy and one doctor says it could have developed with changes in my brain that caused the development of the epilepsy. I have always been the happiest person and nothing gets me down. I have been through some really tough times and have been very upset but never depressed. When I started feeling depressed I saw a therapist and she said there was no reason for me being depressed and that I should see a psychiatrist. I was very against going on antidepressants and tried to wait it out thinking it would go away. I crashed very hard and went to the hospital because I was afraid of myself and was super scared because I felt I might try to kill myself. I spent two weeks in a psychiatric hospital until I was stabilized and they got the meds right. I snapped one time after getting out of the hospital because the anti depressants were still in the process of stabilizing me. I am not sure what came over me but cutting my arm and watching the blood flow was super comforting and supersatisfying. I ended up cutting deep enough to accidently nick or cut my radial artery and blood starts heavily pouring out of my arm and I start panicking. After at least 20 minutes of constant pressure and soaking through almost two rags with blood I realized I was in deep water and needed to go the hospital for stitches but I was embarrassed didn't want to be committed or my family to be hurt knowing I did this. So I held the scissors I was using over a lighter until it was super hot then pressed the hot blade into and around the wound to stop the bleeding. I made it look like I possibly slipped and fell. That was the one and only time in my life that I have ever self harmed, it was really bad. The scariest part was that although I could feel the pain it didn't seem to register in my brain. I didn't flinch when pressing the hot blade into the wound to stop the bleeding although the blood and flesh were hissing and smoking under the hot blade. I felt like some sort of possessed robot during all of this. It took almost two weeks to finally scab over and I was terrified I was going to get an infection because it was so bad. Depression is something that I never thought would happen to me and is the worst oain i have ever experienced and I have broken bones and have had some major injuries. It takes over your mind and turns you into something else and gave me a whole new perspective on mental illness because I never thought I would ever become suicidal or self harm. If you all are wondering I am doing much better an I am back to my happy self.