I'm so awkward I think it's almost painful for some people. I'm on the autism spectrum and spent decades learning how to hide it through behavioral and speech therapy. I changed who I was to fit in and it was awful!

I'm still shy about talking about it. Usually when people find out they always claim that they "just knew it!" and they suddenly start talking slow to me and use small words... even though I'm fairly intelligent (I test genius, but I am not), and have a functional wonderful marriage, moderate paying job, and a 4br 2bath home that I bought at 22 (I'm really good with money). No matter how much more successful I am than the person I'm talking to once the autism cat is out of the bag I'm the slow kid. It infuriates my wife I think, but it just mildly annoys me. I don't know. I rarely tell people IRL.

Since I've stopped worrying about how people respond to me I guess I've become more likeable because a lot of people go out of their way to spend time with me or text me. I have more friends than fingers, so that's good. I'm busy every day I'm off of work, which is cool, because I get really antsy even when I promise myself I'm doing nothing all weekend.

I smile more because I'm way less worried about seeming normal. Still don't like being touched. Still loathe crowds. Still hate being indoors. Still have issues understanding other people's feelings. Clothes are awful. Still get really frustrated when bored or confused. Still like puppets. Actually, I fucking love puppets. I'm making one.

I've learned to listen when people are sad, and be more vocal myself when happy, but for the most part I just got over worrying about how different I am.

I'm a weirdo. I now enjoy being one.