Short: Not sure if depression, lost my friends

Long: For about a year now I had trouble in school, and not the most glamorous life. I rarely left the house, and even then, it was mostly for grocery shopping. Weeks and months would go by without meeting somebody outside of school, not texting anyone.

I was, and still am, stressed because of school, and my mother's SO didn't help with this either. Me and my brother always disliked him, he just acted like your typical adult who still wants to be a teeenager so badly. When we were on vacation he got so mad at my brother that he punched him, which was followed by our father picking me, my brother and my mother up. He'd also belittle us for sometimes up to an hour, with our mother just silently sitting at his side, not saying a single word. He's with him again, and we both still dispise him.

School only got worse. My grades are still dropping, I have school every day from 7:45 until 15:30, so I'm usually away for 9 hours. After arriving at home at 4pm I have to do homework for an hour or two. Should I have bud luck, then this is followed by another hour, which I use to study for exams.

And should I get very unlucky, I am already completely demotivated because my teachers talked down to me. Always hearing how bad you are doing doesn't really help. Like yes, I know I got an A- in the last exam, but that doesn't mean that I will be able to keep it up. I just can't prioritise one class, I'm happy when I get Ds all across the board. And because of my grades, I'm afraid that I will have to repeat a grade or maybe even drop out of the grammar school. The problem with this is, that A-Levels were always, and still are, worked up to be mandatory for a successful career later on, so I'm already afraid of how my future is gonna look like.

Now that we don't have seperate classes anymore, but a whole grade with everyone thrown into the courses they chose, my friends started seperating themselves from me, and started friendships with others. I don't get invited out anymore, which didn't really happen before either, noone accepts my invitations, nobody texts with me. When we're all standing in our "morning-cirlce" before class starts, everybody gets a hug/handshake, except for me. My former best friend doesn't want to work out with me anymore, so I stopped (6 months ago), others make fun of me not working out anymore.

I feel very, very lonely. While other people are daydreaming about vacations and nights out, I imagine having friends and getting good grades. I visit a grammar school, which means that I have to take another 2 years on top of the usual 10, but with the same amount of topics as I would have to in 13 grades.
Explanation: Before, german grammar schools had 13 grades, but those were cut down to 12, for whatever bs reason, yet they kept the amount of material the same.

And, although it was worse before, I still feel like shit. Everyone's talking about their holiday plans, where and how they're gonna party on New Years Eve, and I'm sitting beside them, cracking "jokes" about how I'm gonna sleep, but that's exactly what I will do, because again, noone will visit me.

The only person who met up with me in the past few months is my girlfriend, who really does try her best to be there for me, but sadly, that doesn't always work. We are only able to meet up about once a week, because of school and her hobbies.

And at last, I don't get the feeling that my mother's proud of me. She rarely ever praises me for something, undererstimates the amount of schoolwork I have to do. It's really hard for me to keep up in school, and I don't need to be rimended about that in school and at home.