Introversion vs. extroversion. How much alone time do you need, and how much will you be hurt, lonely, or irritated if your SO needs more than you?

This is often less visible when you're just dating, because you can get time alone when you're at your separate houses. And when you're living together, and have really different requirements for social time vs. solitary time, it can lead to hurt feelings on both sides.

Personal backstory: I warned my husband I'm a super introvert, but he only half believed me because I was outgoing and friendly when I was around people. I got plenty of alone time when we were apart, and sometimes I just told him I had to study.

But when we got married, he was confused about my daily desire to be alone for a while. He would follow me from room to room every time I got up and went somewhere else. When I told him "I just want to be alone for a while," he took it very personally and felt slighted and unwanted. Even though I explained that I love hanging out with him, I just need to recharge sometimes!!

But I hate making people feel bad, so I started spending our whole evenings together. Often I would just sit on the couch with him, thinking "I wish I wasn't here, I wish I wasn't here, I wish I wasn't here" but trying to be polite and friendly. Obviously, that wasn't a good system either, since it made me enjoy his company less.

It took us a few years to work it out, and a lot of frustration in the meantime. Now we understand each other better, and we compromise - he feels lonely sometimes, and I sometimes hang out when I really would rather not. But we're both ok with it and try not to pressure each other.