(Serious) What's the worst thing you've ever done to save someone's life?

TL;DR: Literally did everything my ex wanted me to do just so she wouldn't cut herself or attempt suicide.

I was just in a relationship with this girl. We'll call her J. Im still very very young 15M. We broke up just several momths ago. Our relationship started almost two years ago, just days before turning 14.

Our relationship started in a very unusual way. Unfortunately J was molested and raped by a tricycle driver that she rode with. I'll spare you the details. I ended up being the one who comforted her from the experience, since I thought thats what youre supposed to do when someone is in need. I didn't have any intentions on making a move on her, I just thought that was the right thing to do. This lead up J falling for me for what I did.

Ffw few weeks after the incident J was feeling a little bit better. J really wanted to start a relationship with me. I at first was really reluctant to do it but peer pressure got to me and I agreed being his boyfriend. I was very naive back then, I mean I still am, but I didnt know what it actually takes to be in a relationship. Being the dumb highscholler that I am I agreed with her.

I did enjoy her company a lot. We shared a lot of interests, namely music. I always had fun talking to her and always had a blast laughing with her. It really seemed to me that we were a good match. That's what I believed during the first months of our relationship but as time passes a lot of problems with her showed up. You see J is clinically depressed I knew that from the start. I just thought that I could help her through her depression like a good ol boyfriend, but I severely underestimated what it takes to handle someone like that. (Note: Dont make assumptions about people with mental disabilities that they're hard to befriend or hard to be in a relationship with, people are all different, this is just from my experience)

During our relationship there were countless times where she tried to commit suicide. She wanted to commit suicide due to several reasons like family issues, achademic problems and conflict with her other friends. Every time something even slightly wrong happens to her life she cuts her own arms and tells me that she wants to kill herself . It didn't help that she was also facing court problems with the tricycle driver that molested her. So I literally did everything to the best of my ability to help her get through the bad times.

I did almost everything she ordered me to do. If she wanted to meet up and have a date with me during the weekends I did it. I lied and lied and lied to my parents just to meet her. I always wrote her letters every time she's sad because that always seemed to make her happy. If she wants a gift given to her I bought it. I even bought her this very expensive ring with my own earnings. Here's the worse part. If she wanted sex I gave it to her. I wont lie during the early months of our relationship I was down with the sex but as time went on I only did it for her sake. She sometimes even ordered me to have sex in public areas like in fitting rooms of clothing stores. Even If I said I didn't want to do that, she'll throw a tantrum and be all depressed all over again. So I was kind of forced to say yes. We never had intercourse though that was too much for me. Mostly just oral. She sometimes even asked me to send nudes and if I said no she'd be depressed all over again. So I literally did everything for her, just so that she wouldn't cut herself or try to commit suicide. So in that way I saved her life.

After months and months of me trying to please her just to constantly stop her from hurting herself I knew that this cant go on forever. I didn't knew how to breakup with her since I knew I couldn't just simply break up and leave her because I knew that will end up in her trying to commit suicide again. I'm not gonna tell how I broke up with her because that's a whole another story. In the end after a long gruelling breakup. She's now doing fine on her own, she even has a new boyfriend (goodluck to him). We dont talk anymore and I'm doing fine myself. The lesson learnt from this experience is don't start a relationship when you're not ready, especially when youre still in High School.

/r/AskReddit Thread