I lost my best friend to depression-she would chat with friend 'x' occasionally because I was friends with her, so we'd end up sitting together in school, but it wasn't a close relationship between them in any way. My mind went into defensive mode most of the time and I didn't even feel anything regarding the loss, which was probably the best thing at the time but it went too far when I spotted a girl a few years younger than us looking emo and angsty and remarked that she looked like she was writing a suicide note. I felt terrible and told myself never to say anything like that again. A couple of weeks later I was scrolling through x's Tumblr out of curiosity and stumbled upon a post entitled "dear soon to be ex-friend". This post went on to talk about how I was lashing out and hurting the people around me (I got angry at a friend about something stupid and later apologised, it was then forgotten) and how I was bullying the angst-y girl (she wasn't near enough to hear my remark and I went silent after I heard what I said out loud) She referred to our shared pain and how my best friend's death killed a part of her the same way it killed a part of me, and then said that it was painful to see "what I had become in her absence". I was so devastated, I showed a couple of friends and they assured me I wasn't doing what she accused me of-soon after I confronted her and she tearfully apologised. She said she had been angry about a lot of things and had used me as a scapegoat-she was sorry and she'd delete it when she got home, so I agreed to forget about it. The next day I got into an argument with a really horrible boy in our year-he had a habit of choosing a random person in a conversation and telling them to "shut the fuck up" every two seconds, saying things like "nobody wants you here". He accused me of bullying a little girl and I stormed out, furious: people actually believed what x had written? I want to the local cemetery and stayed at my friend's grave for the duration of lunch-I didn't want to see anyone. The next day I heard about how people had been discussing what she wrote and telling her she was brave and that she had said she didn't regret what she wrote. I didn't understand any of it-she had came to me and apologised, and now she was saying she meant the horrible things she had written. So I tried to speak to her, tried to explain why I was confused and why I needed her to understand that she had to regret what she did. She tried to argue that she has issues with confrontation, I was bringing it up again as if I wanted to hurt her, then started crying and ran away. Stupidly I went after her to find her being hugged and comforted and was told not to upset her any more. I tried to calmly speak to her again-we'd been friends for 5 years and I didn't want it to end like this. But she kept saying she didn't think anyone would see it and her tumblr was where she vented and didn't admit to doing anything wrong-she then ran away crying. I was then told that I was being harsh and I should forgive her because she struggles with confrontation and she uses her blog to vent her feelings. I reminded this person that I was going through a difficult time and needed my friends-I couldn't believe x had decided our friendship wasn't worth one sincere apology. After that I had 3 real friends at school-not a bad number but it would have been nice if the people I've known for 5 years didn't believe what she had written-they all showed her lots of sympathy and supported her in what was sure to be a terrible time: I was so confused, I'd just lost my best friend, now another best friend thought I was the devil and almost everyone else thought I was a cruel bully and that x needed to be helped through the loss of an acquaintance while I struggled to live without someone I love so much. I don't understand what happened, really. TL;DR One of my best friends posted lies about me on the internet, which most people believed. She was taken in and coddled because she was sad an acquaintance of her passed away, while I lost my best friend and then almost everyone in school hated me.