I never met my Father, but I did eventually meet my Uncle. I didn't know they lived anywhere near me, didn't know I had cousins and an Uncle. It was when I was thirty when we finally met. They knew I EXISTED, but never tried to find me! So, I was very overwhelmed by having a new family all of a sudden and said I needed space. Stopped hearing from them.

Fast forward a few years later and hear on Facebook that my Uncle was in the hospital. Called my cousin to find out what hospital he was in, she said immediate family only. I called a couple of more times. I knew he was never coming OUT of the hospital and wanted to be sure to see him, thank him for finding me and just, I don't know, you know, I wanted to see him before he died.

He passed away and I did not see him. He was really the only connection I had to my Father. I emailed my cousins and told them I was really disappointed. They called me self absorbed and I told them how I was working on myself and seeing a therapist. They said my therapist should read the emails. So I brought the emails and my therapist said, um, nope, you're not self absorbed, maybe not the best time to bring this up, but she's a bitch. You handled that very well and expressed empathy to what they are going through.

I went to the funeral and as I walked in they were thanking all the people who had come to visit him in the hospital. It broke my heart. I went to my Aunt and gave my condolences and told her I was sorry to have no visited but how much he meant to me and her. She seemed sincerely grateful for that. I looked at photos of him and my Father and I left. I haven't spoken to them since, although they have wanted to reconcile, I decided I don't want such awful people in my life.