Hi, I'm Lily. I usually don't post here but I feel like your post mirrored my life exactly. I had all the same thoughts as you at a young age, wishing I could look pretty and do girl things, went through cycles of crossdressing in private and then binging by throwing it all out, and tried to make up for it like doing masculine things(I played football in college) but no matter what I would always gravitate back to wanting to be a female and be girly.
It was like this for me for years, and I am 26 years old now. I recently got hired for a new job and had to move to another state miles away from any family member or friend, where I live now. I figured this move and new life living on my own away from anyone I knew gave me a fresh start, so it has allowed me to explore my female side, Lily, in a much deeper way than I previously was able to where I mainly crossdressed in private and had to contain it to my room. Now I dress up and go out and try to pass off as a woman which brings a unique angle to the whole thing.
It feels right. It feels great. I love being Lily. I am strongly considering transitioning to full time(without HRT) to see how it would be like full time but without the commitment. That way I can back out and go back to being a man if I decide its not for me, or decide this is how I am going to live my life from here on out. Think of a long term trial period. What is holding me back from HRT is sterility, if that was not a side effect I would definately be seeking to get on it. I want to marry a woman and have biological kids some day so I have major reservations.
Another angle to this all(and this won't be popular on this sub) is that I am a conservative Christian, so I have spent a lot of time trying to reconcile my Christian faith with me being trans. I have been able to find common ground to make me feel good about being trans and Christian, though politically I still fall on the right side of the spectrum when it comes to many LGBT issues that wouldn't go over too well here and I don't want to derail this topic or post.
I would do what feels right. You don't have to prove anything or prove that you are female. Be you, do what feels right. Very soon I will live as Lily full time. Because it feels right and I think I will be happier and live a fuller life as Lily. That's all that matters.