I bring you good tidings from the year 2050:

> Age of consent is 40.

> Fast Food loicenses handed out on your 18th birthday. It's a punch card that's only good for 10 meals before needing to be renewed.

> Alcohol and tobacco criminalized because we were running out of poor people in prison

> Porn is still legal, but you need to submit a form to your local Department of Adult Activities 10 business days in advance. Your session will be monitored.

> The draft was reinstated, age is still 18. Coincidentally, there was a huge pocket of oil found in Canada, and then a bunch of Canadians bombed the Statue of Liberty.

> Hate speech is now a felony. There are no strict guidelines for what constitutes hate speech, but "you'll know it when you hear it".

> R rated movies are now illegal, as Americans are now incapable of determining fiction from reality

At least we have President Kanye <3