Is she from a religious background? Either she’s just one of those people who simply don’t need to switch it up/change positions often and finds the topic uncomfortable or there could be some trauma associated with sex.

She seems pretty uncomfortable with just the mere conversation of sex which is concerning as you both are adults and have been together for years now. If there’s anyone she should be comfortable with discussing intimate matters, like sex, it would be you, her husband. Is she perhaps dealing with some body image/self esteem issues? That could be a big reason why she isn’t comfortable getting on top. That, or she’s lazy haha. And I don’t wanna just assume she’s lazy in bed. A lot of women feel uncomfortable on top as it showcases our body entirely and if we’re struggling with our weight or self esteem, it’ll completely remove us from the moment as all we’re thinking about is how we look/what our partner thinks of our bodies.

I think another conversation is in order. You can’t force her to want or enjoy things and positions in bed she just doesn’t. And also, after a few years of being with the same person, the excitement and novelty and passion can begin to wane and die down a little. It’s a work in progress and up to you and her to BOTH want to reignite the spark.

Like I said, if I were you, I’d sit her down. Calmly and gently explain to her that you love her and want her and love the life you two guilt together and less but that you’d love to have an open dialogue about sex and would appreciate her being as open and honest as possible. You’re allowed to want certain things just like she’s allowed to not want them.